I had coffee at dawn today...

I had to wake up extra early this morning to drive my mom to work, because I needed to borrow the car to run errands.  My mom works at a garden store a few miles down the road.  It's actually a pretty cool place.  They have rows and rows of trees, shrubs, and plants awaiting purchase, along with sculptures, fountains, an army of gnomes, a fleet of flamingoes, and anything else that the suburban housewife a la mode might desire to spangle her lawn with.  Naturally, the fertilizer and soil supplies also attract the stoner crowd.  As you might imagine, then, I don't really care for the place when it's busy, but on weekday mornings it's quite pleasant.

So anyway, I found myself sipping coffee at this early hour, waiting for my mom to get out of the shower, and thinking about how I've still failed to do anything about this situation, living at home.  I mean, sheesh!  Maybe I should apply for a job or something.  But dammit, not now.  I just really don't want to establish any ties around here.  It would just make it harder for me to get the hell out of here.  I guess I could go back to waitressing part-time at Timon & Pumba's.  Pumba's always had a crush on me, so I could probably get the job back pretty easily.  Just flirt with him a little.  Of course then I would have a guilty conscience for having given a loser false hope.  Not to mention the fact that he would constantly bother me on the job, hitting on me, doing me favors for which he would inevitably expect repayment, and hassling me when I finally rejected him.  No, no job is worth that.  Still, I have to do something to get my mom off my back.

"Sweetie, maybe while you're out running errands today you could pick up some job applications."

Mom stepped into the kitchen and poured herself some coffee.  Being a single parent means she does twice the worrying and triple the nagging.  

"Yeah, I might have a look around to see who's hiring," I replied, hoping to placate her temporarily.  

"Alright, because I hate to see you laying around like this.  You keep on talking about moving out, but you need money to do that, and anyway it's not healthy.  You're a young woman now, and there's no reason that you can't be doing something productive while you figure things out."

"Well, actually Mom, I've been checking out this website, richlosers.com, where these millionaires try to find young girls to be their playthings.  I figure I can hook up with one of these suckers and put my college education to work on him.  You know, dazzle him with my wit and erudition.  Then I can trick someone into marrying me."

Mom chuckled at that.

Still, it might not be a bad idea.